Or if they can't, at least they will offer to help fix them and own up to their responsibility instead of inconveniencing others due to their broken commitment.
Interesting how there is a weird balance of sticking up for yourself or how you feel to prevent things that eat away at you, or "keeping the peace" for the sake of trying to be understanding and empathetic - even when the other is not the same toward you in a particular situation.
A few years back when I was working during university, I went out with a slightly older lady who was a coworker friend for icecream. I ordered, then she ordered second, then quickly insisted that she pay for me. Though it is minor I couldn't help but feel like saying, "Thank you, ok next time I will cover you."
She quickly said "what? Is this how it is? I owe you then you owe me, are we counting? You should not count, I paid for you cause I wanted to treat you, not because I expect anything back, there are no turns, that's how it should be. There shouldn't be any counting"
It kinda made me think about how true that is. Why do we do things for others? Hopefully not because it is for show, or because it is the thing we "should" do. This had somewhat been in the back of my mind since then. So I try not to count things in relationships.
But when someone accuses you of not doing enough for them and proceeds to count all the things they have done for you.... unfortunately the relationship just starts to become about just that, counting. If they accuse you of not being thoughtful or not spending enough time with them or give you a hard time for spending time with others - yet you do not do that to them, I feel they should keep themselves in check. What they expect from others they should instead do for others and what they do for others they should NOT expect from others. If that makes any sense.
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