Merry Christmas !

With everything that's been going on with me, I think that I've been pretty blessed with the family I have. I realize not everyone can say that or not everyone realizes that importance yet. 

The one thing I can count on is that I'm loved by my parents and I love them just as much.

Oh my...

It's panetonne season!

Not yet not yet not yet..NOW!

Funny how I buy a pack of 5 avocados and 5 bananas that are not ripe ....

By the time they ripen it's like I have to finish them all in one day before they go bad....

Cool stuff....

Reclaimed beam wood and pipes and cast iron stand: two bar tables and a cool pipe stool

Reclaimed wood and pipes: wall shelf

Acrylic painting "Merlot Flames".

I know a person who made these. I think he's pretty creative. There's more but these are my favs.

"Halo halo" good granola

Quinoa puffs

Chia seeds 

Hemp hearts

Walnuts

Almonds

Cashews

Cranberries

Ground flax

Cocnut flour

Honey

Brrr

And suddenly, it was fall.
I was hoping to stretch out summer for a bit longer.
At least it is sunny today.

So fyi -
Pumpkin spice latte at Timmy Ho's - taste like I'm drinking soil
Pumpkin spice latte from 7-11 (from a patient of mine) - tastes ooooo soooo yummy!

Now, we all can carry on with our day....

Technology glasses

A patient pointed at this on my desk today and said "oh, is this a tablet?"

I answered "no....... It's a mirror."

We must be bombarded with so much technology today that we can't even recognize simple objects. Haha 

No more pan love

I was in love and now I'm not. 

Green pan you broke my heart. Your non stick is now sticky.

May you fry in hell!

lol 

Do not buy Green Pan! 

I wonder if the amount of heart ache one experiences now,
determines the amount of amazing joy one will feel when they do find the right one.
Hope so.

Pasta Carbonara

My best carbonara made yet!

Took advice from a French dude (from France... Ooo la la - wonderful accent!) I went on a couple dates with.

Cook everything, take it off the heat then add the egg...

Ingredients :

Garlic

Bacon!!

Parmesan 

Milk/ cream

Some onion

Egg

Parsley

Salt and pepper

Ta da!

(Wish I had fresh parlsley) 

Pan love

If I could be in love with a frying pan ... This would be "the one".

For two years I've been struggling with stainless steel pots and pans ... Then they stick ... So I scrub ... Which ruins them and takes up just as much time as cooking with them.

I purposely stayed away from bad bad Teflon ...

Now ... Non toxic ( so they say for now) green pan .... It's ceramic ... And beautiful in every way ❤️❤️

... Yea, I need to do more than just cook all the time when I get home from work....

Full moon

So thin past Tuesday was crazy. In fact this week felt a bit off.

Tuesday was filled with a lot of mix ups and feeling frustrated and unsupported at work and forgotten stuff and lateness and topped off with an unwanted awkward kiss... (Which I won't go into) ... And that was just sad because apparently this moving on crap isn't any easier.

To describe one of the many feelings of Tuesday I would say:

"That feeling of relief thinking you can catch up to everything because a patient has no showed.... Only to realize with a few more minutes left that they just came in very late."

Tetanus.... not the disease but the state ....

Physiology . a state of sustained contraction of a muscle during which the muscle does not relax to its initial length or tension, induced by a rapid succession of stimuli. --- according to dictionary.reference.com

Rapid succession of stimuli, one after the other, not allowing to rest

OR 

sorta like the feeling of a conveyor belt, with things on it that need to be addressed over and over again. 

work.

Hmmmm?!

Accidentally swiped my phone the wrong way and this is what I got.

Interesting.... Since I never punched in to my phone where I work.

Seems about right... But creepy at the same time.

She strikes again!

Not sure if I mentioned an elderly Italian patient I have who cooks amazing dishes and sometimes brings me lunch the day of her appointment ..... If I have mentioned it before....

Well she strikes again .... Sorta like a drive by - yummy food dropping...

Pasta and chicken parmasean.

So thankful!

40 days of happy : day 40!

I didn't even realize until this mid week that this weeknd is the Victoria Day weekend holiday. 

Reminds me of fireworks.

I love fireworks.... The sparkley lights, lighting up the night sky, the thunder that you can feel in your chest.

It can be romantic as well.

Watching fireworks makes me happy! 

As it turns out....

Today is another great day so far.... The sun is peeking out and the sidewalks are dry to the bone....

Now if only the stupid weather forecasters would get it right, then I could've dressed appropriately and enjoyed te day even more ! 

Instead if walking around in these in the sun and warm weather :

Thanks stupid weather forecasters for making me look silly today. 

40 days of happy: day 39

Finding a wine that I enjoy... I'm not a big wine drinker and it has to be mild and light ... Not too tart or dry.

Last one 2011 I shared with someone ... They don't make anymore ... It's on to 2012 and tonight I tried it... Not the same. Have to search for a new fav.

I find red waaay too strong for me and there are definately a lot of red wine snobs out there... But this cheapy is smooth and light.. So easy to drink !

Garlic white wine chicken

It's ok.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/BRAISED-CHICKEN-WITH-GARLIC-AND-WHITE-WINE-109078

40 days of happy: day 38

Two things again:

Trying new recipes and having them turn out somewhat to very good. 

Aloo assanaj - spinach prune Persian chicken:

Prunes - yellow or purple ... I used apricots ? Lol

Onion

Spinach

Tsp turmeric 

Cayenne pepper 

Chicken - remove skin - most of it at least

Water not too much just enough to boil- one cup about .

Make sure to cover pot

Salt 

Pepper

Next happy:

Having a great interesting thoughtful convo with a friend .... You know those ones that there's always a lot to say, and one story/subject builds on another, then tangents form and sometimes you forget how you even got on that tangent, and then there's plans made, affirmations and  encouraging ah-ha moments, and info that surprises you, it shocks you or makes you happy you learned something new, and those convos that also are sessions that you realize how similar you're views are and affirms your friendship, or those ones that show different views that make you see your friend in a different light and it's more fascinating than discouraging, those convos where you laugh about random stuff that only you know you guys get - if an outsider heard they wouldn't understand, those convos where you talk so much with each other that you don't realize it's past your bedtime or just suddenly you hear silence cause someone's battery ran out.

Yep. Those kinda conversations with friends make me happy. 

And tonight it happened to be with the friend who told me this recipe above. 

40 days of happy: day 37

Two things today:

Overcoming fears such as bike riding in the city. (Have an ex I guess to thank for that.. I complain a lot about my fears or worries but I do them anyways.... And end up loving it!) Happy to get a bike ride in before sunset.

Next happy of the day:

Catching up with an old (though younger)  classmate. Sooooo refreshing to chat a tiny bit and remember the past the funny stuff and to also support him in his success! He seems to have done well for himself and is still the good, funny, kind, smart, honest person he was. I admire him and a lot of my old classmates - we were a good bunch. Happy to know or at least be reminded that there are great ppl out there, takes you away from the everyday grind and the chaos of 'different' people with 'different' views on life.

And one more thing - this meeting has reminded me of the type of people I like to surround myself by. 

40 days of happy: day 36

Holding hands makes me happy. Especially if the other hand keeps mine warm.

40 days of happy: day 35

The affection and acceptance and playfulness of cute animals:

40 days of happy: day 34

When recipes turn out to be awesome!

Can't substitute for chocolate mousse

Oh poop. Ok that's gross along with this pic.

But for those of you who are lookin to try the chocolate mousse recipe which uses avocados instead if milk etc....

Don't do it. It tastes like chocolate avocados. No matter how much sugar you use. And it's heavy... Like paste ... Or cement in your mouth. 

.... Unless ... You've never really tasted real mousse, or you are allergic to milk or milk products, or if you're vegan... Then knock yourself out!

- but even so... I think there are other chocolate deserts that will satisfy you. 

Bleh.

40 days of happy : day 33

Lemon tarts or any lemon sweets make me happy!!!... So much food lately. 

40 days of happy: day 32

Getting unexpected flowers makes me happy:

40 days of happy: day 31

Getting together with family during Easter makes me happy :

I ate an egg. Can you tell? 

40 days of happy : day 30

Ha. Photo of a photo. 

Pad Thai makes me happy. 

And having a break from cooking makes me happy. 

Sukhothai pad Thai to be exact.

A few ways

You see, you can take this a few different ways:

1) sad. single. life

2) or Acceptance of who I am, comfortable, non judging, healthy yet understands me,  amazing bf - life.

2) I have expensive taste in ice cream

3) sobeys had a sale!! Gotta stock up!! 

4) stock up? Are you kidding me? These will be all gone within the week.

5) icecream paaaarrrtaay at my place ! Someone bring the brownies and wine ...

6) today, I noticed that the Toronto streets were like a land mine.... Of doggie do-do.  People, if you want more dog-lovers out there, then clean up after your pup! (Nothin to do with the picture above, but just thought I'd add it in here) 

40 days of happy: day 29

Haagen das 

Coffee 

And vanilla chocolate almond

.... Can't . Stop. Eating . This.

Ugh

Two dads...

I was getting off the elevator this morning and overheard a convo between these two young gals each with their dogs on a leash.

One gal said in her "valley girl" accent, that there is a possibility that her dog has two different dads. One dog, two different dog dads, one mom dog.

1) why are there so many youngsters with valley girl accents?!? This is Toronto, Canada people, not California.

2) obviously at her age (assuming in her 20s ), she still has no idea how babies are made

3) I can understand a litter of dogs having dogs from one dad and dogs from another dad, but one dog with two dads? Why am I trying to figure out stupid's logic?

4)I suddenly felt so smart this morning.... And yet so scared for the future of this world at the same time.

5) .... As a friend said .... Clearly these girls will not survive a zombie attack.

Baci ... Italian chocolate

Thanks Baci.

You make no sense at all.

At least you come with some chocolate.

Your free advice sucks. 

Dear

DEAR NETFLIX 

Don't think that I'm not on to you. I know what you are doing. I'll have you know that I need to sit down and start doing my taxes, and folding my clean laundry, and dusting, and painting, and buying furniture for my place... So I can invite friends over. Oh and I also need to get out there and meet new people, and learn to golf and bike and swim and blade this summer. I gots me some big plans for myself, Netflix, you hear that?!! 

So just letting you know, Netflix. I mean "Fringe" is a great show. But really not worth it, considering all you took from me without me realizing it. You're tricky, but I'm on to you!

I would like to ask you for the last couple days of my life back. Yes ... That means this past weekend and the days around it. I want it back! And you can also add the countless hours of sleep you robbed from me as well. 

Just give it all back and I'll consider our friendship again... Maybe...

Thanks.

Yours truly,

Joss

40 days of happy: day 28

Painting or drawing ... At least trying to... Makes me happy ... Or at least calms some anxiety down for that moment ...

Water painting :

40 days of happy: day 27

I'm dreaming of a man who loves to cook for me.

Left over butternut squash soup brings back happy memories...

No meat Fridays ...

So I opened up my Juliet balcony today to rid my condo of my salmon frying odours ....

It's really good salmon ....mom's recipe is listed somewhere here...

And as I stood at the balcony window I could smell some neighbors cooking Indian food....

Haha... I feel sorry for the neighbors who aren't cooking right now.

40 days of happy: day 26

My good friends make me happy.

It took me about 30 years to realize this.

It's not the amount if friends you have it's the quality. Hanging out with those you admire and respect is important. 

I'm constantly learning more about me by doing this. 

I'm thankful for the friends I have. 

40 days of happy: day 25

Sweet girly drinks make me happy!.... But only temporarily ... So not sure if that counts....

40 days of happy: day 24

Sweets. Depends on what I'm craving at the time. Chocolate makes me happy.

Well, jeepers, aren't I on a roll for posts today...

40 days of happy: day 23

Fresh flowers make me really happy. 

(I'm not sure if I said this already, but if I did, that's how much it makes me happy).

I've never really gotten any from any significant others or a bf before...

So you can imagine how happy that would make me when I do get some from a bf... One day...

How easy is that huh? Pretty simple, I'm not an extravagant type of gal ... If they only knew...

40 days of happy: day 22

Vacation and staycation days make me happy. 

Gots' me some of those days today and tomorrow! Whoo hoo! 

40 days of happy: day 21

Gez I'm falling behind with this.

Today my aviators make me happy. And to wear them, there also needs to be a sunny day. Bonus happy!

You know that time when your parents refused to let you have something or go somewhere when you were younger and it felt so frustrating and upsetting that you felt you hated them and they must have hated you, for them to actually do that to you?

Years later you realize it's really because they cared and loved you so much that they did their best for you so you could move on and be happy later on.....

You just never realized how much they cared. 

40 days of happy: day 20

Treats from my patients make me happy!

... In this case early Easter chocolates 

Love, seems so elusive...

A quote I remember from a random book I picked up at the store many many years ago... Somehow it stuck in my head... Not so sure I got the meaning of it right... But it stuck.

When it is in it's utmost truthfulness : to be loved and to give love, is to feel alive...

40 days of happy: day 18and day 19

Not only am I blessed with a great mom, I am also blessed with a great sister in law....talking to her and spending time with her makes me happy!

And art makes me happy... Being able to try to paint, draw and appreciate art from others as well makes me happy!

(Paintlounge yesterday :)

40 days of happy: day 17

Home makes me happy.

Home meaning visiting my folks place. So thankful I grew up in the burbs.

Sometimes when things seem hectic and crazy downtown or ppl seem a bit off... It's always nice to go visit where things were less complicated and childhood innocence memories remain.

Actually, my mom said not to call their place home anymore since I have a home of my own now. 

She said to call their home "the cottage".

Btw this huge cat was lazily lounging on the fence, did not budge no matter how much I tapped on the window pain. Thought it was dead. Or a baby bear. Or a gigantic squirrel. 

40 days of happy: day 16

Been craving cookies all week.

Lemon crinkle home made cookies... For breakfast ?!?

Cute

Side note:

62 year old patient of mine came in for an insole adjustment.

He was more than happy to also make sure that I know he started dating another elderly widowed patient of mine.

"We are seeing each other now, like boyfriend and girlfriend, you know"

Ha

He seemed so happy. 

Almost like he was a young kid telling me this.

How cute. 

40 days of happy: day 15

My moms bday is today. 

I'm so thankful for her.... Funny we don't think too much about this when we are growing up and having disputes. 

I attribute the good stuff about who I've become, to her. 

I'm thankful for what she has taught me and for guiding me along the way, showing me good values and for her being a great mom. 

Wishing her many blessings of love and good health and long life. 

My mom makes me happy and thankful. 

40 days of happy: day 14

Reading the life quotes that ppl have written makes me happy. 

40 days of happy: day 13

Freshly squeezed OJ! 

40 days of happy: day 12

Royal Alexandra theatre

Last time I remember I was here was grade 10 to see Les miserables.

Today American idiot.

Pretty good. Not too keen on the storyline. Great voices during the solos! 

40 days if happy: day 11

Walking back to my friends condo, these young guys were passing us in the lobby ...... And his friends were trying to talk to him ... But our eyes caught sight of each other and all he said, looking at me was "wow, she is beautiful!"

- bahahahah !  Don't really think that of myself but hey, at this age, a nice compliment from a handsome young man is definately welcome and appreciated.

So random.

40 days of happy: day 10

The independence and confidence and appreciation gained by private practice. 

40 days of happy :day 9

Morning sunshine into my condo

40 days of happy: day 8

My Italian patient that usually brings me some of her amazing home cooking visited today. She once told me the ingredients to her Chicken in white wine sauce reciepe.

40 days of happy: day 7

Happy for the paced out day with time to get adjusted and used to the new EMR. 

And happy for coming home to Netflix, dinner made, and some white wine. 

40 days of happy: day 6

Oops forgot to write yesterday, hence no pics....

Yesterday there was Indian food left from a meeting at work YUMMY! and also brownies made by management for the start of our crazy transfer into a new EMR.

40 Days of Happy: Day 5

Mamas veg lasagna 

40 Days of Happy: Day 4

Cerignola or calamata olives from the St Lawrence Market.... Reminds me of Italy.

With this Brie ! (Damn good, he WAS right)

And olive sour dough french bread

And this