There was a quote that was posted by one of the accounts I follow on Instagram.
It went like this:
"The Planet doesn't need more "successful" people.
The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers
& lovers of all kinds"
awwww... right?
Well I looked at it and something did not sit right with me.
"Successful"
With no mention of course, just an assumption of what this means. I would also think that because its in quotes it means "a particular idea of what is successful".
But it still did not sit right with me.
With words having more meaning and being more important these days, I did not appreciate the callousness of how this person used the word successful. With the only explanation being the "" quotations.
Not a big deal to someone who just reads it and doesn't think much about it.
Yeah, I get it, I know what they mean. But that is not enough, Especially now.
When ideas of Marxism, Fascism, Capitalism, Communism etc etc are resurfacing more than ever, this quote is more of a passive ignorant use of the word than encompassing precise, clever thought. Easily absorbed and people will think, yea I got it, I got what it meant.
But when common sense is not so common, not all people are going to get what it means and they will take it literally. Not everyone, but I'd assume if asked to define what they think the word "successful" means you will see the answers will vary a lot.
On the same note is this quote saying to those who can misinterpret this as : to be a peacemaker or healer etc is .... unsuccessful ?
What do they mean by "successful"? Not defining it can lead to vilifying the word, successful, itself.
Which would also tend to push that the ideal result is that its better to be ...unsuccessful.Are we aiming for low ambition, sedentary effort?
Well, my point is, I am pretty tired of words becoming vilified or somehow becoming wrong or evil or bad. When it comes down to it the origin of the word itself is really a positive description, a positive outcome. (a good result, a happy outcome)
Specifically by "successful" do they mean having a career/job and what kind of career? or finishing school or earning a living? Do they mean it is buying a house or having a car? It can be assumed to mean so much. And if this is the case, do they mean these persons with this success cannot be healers, peacemakers or lovers ?
Why all this fuss over this word and quote?
So I came up with an analogy, not a very great one and somewhat horrific but I think it makes sense:
Its like a knife that is used to cut tomatoes, a terrible person uses it to stab someone else.... a solution would be lets get rid of the knife! Yet the terrible person is still there and not dealt with and then maybe uses some other object to harm someone else. Similar solution, hey lets get rid of that object because now it has become harmful!
The easy and less effective way of dealing with this situation is to just get rid of everything around that person that they can use as a weapon. Yet the harder, more effective way of dealing with this situation is to deal with this person to begin with, why are they doing this, where have their intentions originated from etc, figure out why and how to change his intention. That takes some diving deep, and a lot of times ppl would rather do the former and try to ignore the bigger issue.
What this also does is the former affects more people than you think.... hey... now there is no knife to cut tomatoes and maybe now they have to be forced to use a spoon to cut a tomato or fork, now there is no bat to play baseball so they are forced to just play catch, now others who used them the way they were meant to be used will feel that it is taken away from them, their lives are altered and restricted because someone else used it in a bad way (even if it was just one person among many), this leads to resentment. And lets not forget the people that are still being physically hurt by this person who is still around and not dealt with, that problem does not go away. Everyone suffers. So lets stop vilifying words but correcting the meaning behind it. Redefine the use again to mean what it was meant for, something positive.
Stop throwing away babies out with the bathwater.
Lets redefine things to make them better, redefine the use, the meanings, the intentions, the beliefs, behind it. Instead of throwing away things that bad people have used wrongly. It is the use of the word by the person and the intentions and thoughts of that person that need to be changed, not the word itself. Why.... because if you do not fix the meaning associated with something or the intention of the person, you will just keep changing whatever word becomes associated with those intentions. You change the word, an new word will be used in the wrong way or used to mean something negative. The result is the problem will never go away, people will still be hurt, innocent people around will be affected, but the one person that needs to be dealt with and the intentions behind them will not be addressed.
Who is to say that our idea of success will not include the peacemakers, the healers, restorers, the storytellers and lovers of all kinds? Wouldn't be amazing if those are definitions of success too, words associated together in harmony with it? Sounds pretty successful to me!
Tuesday, 7 July 2020
Wednesday, 24 June 2020
sad.
Today I found out that my cousin's FB and Instagram page were deleted.
She recently passed.
Realizing this made me feel so sad!!
I felt like wow, how easily it seems social media can erase a person.
I'm sad because a lot of great memories were shared and linked to her page.
And I miss her a lot, I can still almost hear her still, sense her presence.
And I do not want to forget how she looked and the time we spent together or even just her life in general.
I talked to a friend of mine today about it. She thought the opposite. That she would like the same if she passes, for her social media to be erased. She felt it would cause pain to her family.
I guess people all grieve differently.
Today I visited my folks. I started to look at old hard copy albums 2008, 2016 (ones made from digital & online pics). My sis-in-law's mother was in one of these albums. She also recently passed. My mom said she cannot bear to look at it because she said it will make her cry and it is too painful.
I guess for the past how many years people no longer make picture albums and mostly have a pile of never ending digital photos either scattered on their phone or in a cloud. Those albums for the public to see are now just in "social media". There is a sense of impersonal distance with that term. This now common way of sharing memories and experiences.
I miss the old albums. The hard copy of these memories. Something a bit more tangible.
Not to live in the past but to look back fondly on it.
I guess it is there to also be reminded to cherish the moment right now, almost capturing the essence of the time and place and feeling, and to remember it and keep it close, photograph or not.
Monday, 15 June 2020
How to disagree with someone....
welp... this is certainly hard to do. I know first hand.
https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/319/
I like this lady though.
I wonder how family members/ friends feel right now by sitting in their anger toward each other because of their judgement about them due to their different beliefs? Do they really feel they hate that person? If they do, how does this hate feel?
I know I hate feeling hate, even if I do feel it. But it doesn't feel good, just this heavy upset, saddness and anxiety sitting on my chest to carry around...
Yea... this is certainly hard to do. I'll see if its possible.... seems a better option than feeling crappy though.
https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/319/
I like this lady though.
I wonder how family members/ friends feel right now by sitting in their anger toward each other because of their judgement about them due to their different beliefs? Do they really feel they hate that person? If they do, how does this hate feel?
I know I hate feeling hate, even if I do feel it. But it doesn't feel good, just this heavy upset, saddness and anxiety sitting on my chest to carry around...
Yea... this is certainly hard to do. I'll see if its possible.... seems a better option than feeling crappy though.
Wednesday, 10 June 2020
Choose Peace over power.
https://www.wikihow.com/Live-in-Peace
Just putting this here.
(the part about forced coercion and resentment is very interesting)
(***disclosure, I am talking about differences in views, not when active violence is happening in the moment)
Gez louise.
A few times this week in my observations of others I felt...."Whooa, hold up! What are you doing?! Why would you do that?"
It seems like its a volatile time around me with me seeing people passionately disagree with in-laws , coworkers, friends, companions, family and even strangers.
Conversation and communication is good. No communication can lead to chaos. But its not always easy. Not even easy to express your own opinions clearly let alone listen to other peoples opinions sometimes.
What I notice is that most of the time people choose power over peace.
They feel there is a wrong, and will aim to fix it, no matter the fatalities along the way.
As much as you want to correct it right this instant, and just right the wrong now or throw the baby out with the bath water, as much as you want to correct a wrong, is how much sometimes strongly the other is convinced that you are the wrong that needs correcting.
Even how detrimental the views are and the consequences - when it comes down to that moment - its an opinion. Just an opinion *** (see disclosure) . Not to belittle it or invalidate it. Everyone has their own experiences to back up this opinion they hold so dear.
But its just that. And because we all are different, we are bound to have different opinions.
But if the whole exchange begins to brew resentment, anger, hurt, bitterness, violence and forever damaged relationships.... why? Why try to convince or force the other to accept yours? If they are not forcing you to change how to live your life, how you think, how you treat others in the end, right in front of you, why not choose peace? Why stir it up forcefully and damage the peace and relationship, instead of just having them see things for themselves, learn for themselves, be open to listening which is a two way street....
If they post something on FB that bothers you and you assume the worst in that person. Why say anything when you know their minds will not change if you say something? Even just delete or block it out. If the way they live their life in their home does not affect how you live your life at home, why force your opinion in their home?
Less vaguely for example, I do not agree I need to cover up my head as a woman or my face to be looked at as a respectable woman. But if I go into their home/ country and this is their form of respect in their country, I will do it. Because that is their home.
It is a minor inconvenience to me when I go there, but in the bigger picture, it keeps the peace and they appreciate it. They are not telling me what to do in my own home or how to live my life.
In the end, it shows them you value their relationship over forcing your differing opinions/values.
Just putting this here.
(the part about forced coercion and resentment is very interesting)
(***disclosure, I am talking about differences in views, not when active violence is happening in the moment)
Gez louise.
A few times this week in my observations of others I felt...."Whooa, hold up! What are you doing?! Why would you do that?"
It seems like its a volatile time around me with me seeing people passionately disagree with in-laws , coworkers, friends, companions, family and even strangers.
Conversation and communication is good. No communication can lead to chaos. But its not always easy. Not even easy to express your own opinions clearly let alone listen to other peoples opinions sometimes.
What I notice is that most of the time people choose power over peace.
They feel there is a wrong, and will aim to fix it, no matter the fatalities along the way.
As much as you want to correct it right this instant, and just right the wrong now or throw the baby out with the bath water, as much as you want to correct a wrong, is how much sometimes strongly the other is convinced that you are the wrong that needs correcting.
Even how detrimental the views are and the consequences - when it comes down to that moment - its an opinion. Just an opinion *** (see disclosure) . Not to belittle it or invalidate it. Everyone has their own experiences to back up this opinion they hold so dear.
But its just that. And because we all are different, we are bound to have different opinions.
But if the whole exchange begins to brew resentment, anger, hurt, bitterness, violence and forever damaged relationships.... why? Why try to convince or force the other to accept yours? If they are not forcing you to change how to live your life, how you think, how you treat others in the end, right in front of you, why not choose peace? Why stir it up forcefully and damage the peace and relationship, instead of just having them see things for themselves, learn for themselves, be open to listening which is a two way street....
If they post something on FB that bothers you and you assume the worst in that person. Why say anything when you know their minds will not change if you say something? Even just delete or block it out. If the way they live their life in their home does not affect how you live your life at home, why force your opinion in their home?
Less vaguely for example, I do not agree I need to cover up my head as a woman or my face to be looked at as a respectable woman. But if I go into their home/ country and this is their form of respect in their country, I will do it. Because that is their home.
It is a minor inconvenience to me when I go there, but in the bigger picture, it keeps the peace and they appreciate it. They are not telling me what to do in my own home or how to live my life.
In the end, it shows them you value their relationship over forcing your differing opinions/values.
Monday, 8 June 2020
New Word Alert! (and another interesting DOC)
It has been a while since I added to my Jossipedia dictionary (of my wonderfully creative made up words.)
I watched a really eye opening documentary last night.
I say eye opening because yes, going into it I was like wow this is Bull shit.
Seeing the misogynistic titles in the beginning I thought, why even continue watching this crap...
But by the end of it, the message was clear and in line with the wonderful documentary I saw the other night (see last post), King in the Wilderness.
You cannot defeat the enemy by becoming the enemy.
One form of injustice, does not make up for another injustice. Two wrongs do not make a right.... I can go on...
The bf has always brought up the "other point of view" in any of my statements, which can be kinda exhausting and I chalked it up sometimes to him just wanting to antagonize my view points.
But I hear him now.
I believe this holds true now ever more.... where media has a huge impact on how we view things, and then the huge social pressure that comes along with it.
You have to reallllllllllly learn to discern the minute yet strong messages out there and say - is it fair?
In learning how people respond to being hurt, there is not one correct way of doing so. We must be careful to not dismiss and invalidate the hurt they feel. But we know one response to being hurt can be more productive than the other. Especially in our ever polarized society.
At the moment I am on a binge of just empathizing, learning the experiences of other people. And I am not finished yet, nor may ever be, but my new word/ phrase has come about from this.
ready for it.......
Inclusivism Censorship
It's a phrase I guess. I'm just stepping back right now and admiring my creation of a new term hahaha.
wait...
Inclusivity Censorship.
Maybe that sounds better.
Kinda wordy.... well that's what I came up with.
This is what is happening. This term to me is negative. It further divides. And damages full respect and equality of human rights.
I feel that this is important to avoid for any movement. Even in line with the late Martin Luther King Jrs views on collaboration and Unifying everyone. Instead of dividing. His rejection of violence and rejection of the term Black Power. The outcome desired is equality, but the means to the way can instead increase division and cause more harm. When movements are not inclusive. Black Power is the opposite of White Power. But how does it unify people, humans? Isn't that what we want? (Please watch King in the Wilderness).
Anyhow the documentary is called The Red Pill (Different from the movement group called the red pill - eek)
The producer also has a Ted talk : Meeting the Enemy ....but I suggest just watching the movie before the ted talk.
It's sad when we can no longer hear each other out. Even within families. Us or them. Yes or no. With no one listening to the other side. Divisions growing and families and friends divided.
No one questioning if their stance is unifying. It's just become a competition of us and them.
To me, if you find yourself on one end of the polarized spectrum, you are not fighting for unity, you are fighting for your self.
I watched a really eye opening documentary last night.
I say eye opening because yes, going into it I was like wow this is Bull shit.
Seeing the misogynistic titles in the beginning I thought, why even continue watching this crap...
But by the end of it, the message was clear and in line with the wonderful documentary I saw the other night (see last post), King in the Wilderness.
You cannot defeat the enemy by becoming the enemy.
One form of injustice, does not make up for another injustice. Two wrongs do not make a right.... I can go on...
The bf has always brought up the "other point of view" in any of my statements, which can be kinda exhausting and I chalked it up sometimes to him just wanting to antagonize my view points.
But I hear him now.
I believe this holds true now ever more.... where media has a huge impact on how we view things, and then the huge social pressure that comes along with it.
You have to reallllllllllly learn to discern the minute yet strong messages out there and say - is it fair?
In learning how people respond to being hurt, there is not one correct way of doing so. We must be careful to not dismiss and invalidate the hurt they feel. But we know one response to being hurt can be more productive than the other. Especially in our ever polarized society.
At the moment I am on a binge of just empathizing, learning the experiences of other people. And I am not finished yet, nor may ever be, but my new word/ phrase has come about from this.
ready for it.......
Inclusivism Censorship
It's a phrase I guess. I'm just stepping back right now and admiring my creation of a new term hahaha.
wait...
Inclusivity Censorship.
Maybe that sounds better.
Kinda wordy.... well that's what I came up with.
This is what is happening. This term to me is negative. It further divides. And damages full respect and equality of human rights.
I feel that this is important to avoid for any movement. Even in line with the late Martin Luther King Jrs views on collaboration and Unifying everyone. Instead of dividing. His rejection of violence and rejection of the term Black Power. The outcome desired is equality, but the means to the way can instead increase division and cause more harm. When movements are not inclusive. Black Power is the opposite of White Power. But how does it unify people, humans? Isn't that what we want? (Please watch King in the Wilderness).
Anyhow the documentary is called The Red Pill (Different from the movement group called the red pill - eek)
The producer also has a Ted talk : Meeting the Enemy ....but I suggest just watching the movie before the ted talk.
It's sad when we can no longer hear each other out. Even within families. Us or them. Yes or no. With no one listening to the other side. Divisions growing and families and friends divided.
No one questioning if their stance is unifying. It's just become a competition of us and them.
To me, if you find yourself on one end of the polarized spectrum, you are not fighting for unity, you are fighting for your self.
Sunday, 7 June 2020
Love via MLK jr
"You cannot defeat the enemy by becoming the enemy"
So key. One can miss it if they don't pay close attention.
"this one young lady came up to Dr. King, just spitting in his face, calling him all kinds of names. And he said You know, you are much too beautiful to be so mean. And when we came back through there, she came out through the crowd again and came up to him and said I'm sorry, I never should have been so rude."
Love.
Just watched King in the Wilderness 2018 . A movie so worth watching.
So key. One can miss it if they don't pay close attention.
"this one young lady came up to Dr. King, just spitting in his face, calling him all kinds of names. And he said You know, you are much too beautiful to be so mean. And when we came back through there, she came out through the crowd again and came up to him and said I'm sorry, I never should have been so rude."
Love.
Just watched King in the Wilderness 2018 . A movie so worth watching.
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