feed your soul

Grounded.
I have heard this before but in the literal sense.
It sounded Hokey at first. But it made sense.

With technology and stresses surrounding us, and us being magnetic beings, it is easy for us to get caught up in a feeling of chaos, confusion or simply just getting off track.
So it has been suggested that grounding is - actual grounding ourselves to this earth.
Take a few minutes, find a patch of earth, get closer to nature, (dare I say) go barefoot and feel the grass between your toes and earth below your sole, feel the texture, the temperature, the smell of the air, breathe deep....take it all in. Literally, ground yourself.

I visited my folks in the burbs this weekend, and it was a wonderful day out. 26C with no humidity.
I sat in the backyard in the shade with my feet on another chair, looking up at the blue sky peeking between the lime and yellow green leaves under the dwarf pear tree. I listened to the relaxing rustling sound of the leaves from the wind blowing through the branches. The air I could take in deeply since any air than the one downtown is fresh to me. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my feet and the warm breeze almost hugging me. It made me sleepy.

Ever have that feeling that you lost yourself?
Ever have that feeling that you have lost your mojo?

I feel like I am constantly wanting to find something. Maybe it is looking for my purpose in life. Where is it that I belong?
And as of late I have felt I have lost my mojo. Looking and feeling tired. Neglecting myself and people around me who I care about.
I've always heard the saying - how can you love someone if you do not love yourself?
I've heard it so often that I find it almost becoming a cliche.
However, if I stop to think about it, which I have been thinking about lately.... in all my years on this earth, I feel like I do not love myself enough. 

I've had my ebbs of ups and downs on this subject matter. I feel like it was the highest when I was in my professional school, after university.
I'm sure my young self would have a different opinion.
But through difficult times and major curves along the path, I may have hardened toward myself.
Lost a bit of that confidence. Reverted back to the feeling that I do not deserve things.

I also think it is a constant battle in life. I do not believe you just come to a place of self confidence and self love and the world opens up and you remain in that state. It always gets tested along the way. Once you pass, another obstacle comes up. Once you think you have figured it out, you realize that you did not have the answer.

I do not know the path to self love, self confidence, or finding ones purpose on this earth.
But I think that it is good to have a few moments to think about what it is that I feel about things. What is it that fuels my soul? What areas am I drawn to? Where is it that I want to go?
How does it look like to truely love myself?

This weekend I wanted to hang out with a couple gfs of mine and I realized they were busy, rightfully so because I have not been hanging out with them for a long while. I was thinking of going to a Fringe play by myself even, but the ones I wanted to see were sold out. And I've been so tired lately as well, maybe lingerings of jet lag.
I got to hang with family a bit. I hung out with my niece who I am so proud of and was reminded of my own coming of age years and wondered how I even handled that time. Most of the time though, I spent on my own. I realized it maybe a good thing every now and then to find myself during those times to see what feeds my soul.
One thing I know, I definitely need to love myself more.

Random website on feeding souls lol.