Poverty, Inc. | Official Trailer

I hardly post anything on FB. But I really liked this documentary. I'll post it again here. It articulates a lot of what I have been trying to say for a long while....This message can even be extrapolated into all things that we do for others, right down to a personal level... Giving vs Teaching in that saying about a hungry man and fish...



That wonderful feeling of .."YES! you guys get me!" (or I get them)

Asteism

Another new word for me, dammit, not in my Jossipedia files once again.....


I had a patient come in to my clinic on Friday. I was trying to figure him out from the start. A bit of annoyance that I was 10 minutes late to getting him into his apt (due to the patient before him needing more time); a bit of arrogance or false sense of "whatever I don't care for the details" kind of attitude, impatience, then as I talked to him more he became more willing to listen to my advice and became a bit more calm. Regardless.... during the small talk in between he said:

" Oh I thought you would be French. Your name is French you know"
And the one comment that bugged me sometime after he left, and still now, was:
"So both your parents are Filipino? That is interesting. I thought that maybe you would be some sort of mix. I hope I am not insulting you when I say this (clue that he is fully aware that it will be an insult) but you do not look like you are filipino. You are pretty. I would not have guessed that you are filipino."

All I said in response was "Gez I hope you are not insulting me.." not taking a stance either way....

You know those times you want to kick yourself for things you think you should have done way after the fact? I should have set him straight and called him out on this. Insulting a whole entire culture and one that I belong to. He needs to see his stereotype or whatever ideas he has of it are wrong, and that is an insult more than any compliment he ignorantly thought he was giving.

Anyhow definition of Asteism :

Correspondingly, a backhanded (or left-handed)compliment, or asteism, is an insult that is disguised as, or accompanied by, a compliment, especially in situations where the belittling or condescension is intentional. Examples of backhanded complimentsinclude: "I did not expect you to ace that exam.

teetotalism

A new word for me. But something I wish was in my Jossipedia files...

Teetotalism is the practice or promotion of complete personal abstinence from alcoholic beverages. A person who practices (and possibly advocates) teetotalism is called a teetotaler (plural teetotalers) or is simply said to be teetotal.

I am not your door mat

“I am not your door mat” - the Buddhist notion of idiot compassion.

This randomly popped up on my computer screen this morning. The source is elephantjournal.com .

I have no idea how this got on my screen but I find it interestingly true.

I’ve been there before. The lines of helping someone or being kind/ forgiving to an unkind person in hopes that your generosity and understanding will miraculously change them or inspire them vs. Being a door mat or not standing up for yourself and enabling the other persons poor behaviour, and allowing this form of abuse to happen to you- the lines can suddenly become blurred.

I believe it comes down to self esteem/ confidence and true love of yourself. That, I have not mastered. But being aware of having this first as being important before anything else is something I’ve realized....

Do it now....

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you are failing at life?
I wish there was a handbook for this.

-----------
Aside from that.....

Today I was asked something about my dad.
I had no idea what the answer was, something about his past and how he arrived in this country. I knew the big details but not the exact little ones.
I thought meh, so what.
But I was told in a gentle way, to maybe ask those things of my dad, you know, while he is still here to tell me them.
ugh. That thought. The thought I cannot accept. The mortality of those you love. Despite me not showing it much and taking them for granted. The people we are blessed with in this life are not ours to keep. They will not always be there no matter how much we fight it. And when they are gone, what will you remember of them? You know, to still keep them with you somehow. Can you look back and say you really knew them, no matter how close you think you are to them.


I don't know what the fucking meaning of life is. I actually don't know most of the time why the fuck I was put on this earth (case in point my intro to this post-kinda-day). But I do feel that if you don't have deeper connections with people around you, find your purpose and Listen (which I have been known not to do), and take the time to know people and do all the things we want to do with those we care and love, and jump into what excites/ interests us, then really what's the point? I feel what is left is to meander the earth not ever being grounded to it and those in it, not leaving a mark or an impression and just going through the highs and lows on autopilot never hitting a mark or destination - it would all seem actually pointless. Like a movie that doesn't make sense (ie. Open House on Netflix) and suddenly you are left with the fact that you lost an hour and a half of your precious time.

I went out with someone once, who I liked and they liked me too. They made plans. But I was hesitant to, since - you know of my cautious glass half empty. And then it ended abruptly. The worst thing is to have things end abruptly. A meal. A conversation. A movie. A life. A relationship. But somehow, there came a second chance. And you know what I did that time? Made a full list of all the things we wanted to do. Visit this place, eat this meal, take this drive, watch this movie, visit this store, make a snowman, go skating. I said we had one day to do all of this in case it ends again. And that day I was pretty thankful for. I remember even looking into the starry night sky saying thank you for this moment (The rest after that day, not so much. But that day I was thankful for, for sure.)

Anyhow, I am thankful for the gentle advice.

My dad came here after finishing a work visa contract In the states. He did not want to go back home and decided to come up north to Canada instead. His sister was here and she had a friend working in a hospital in Windsor. He was offered a position in the hospital. But after visiting the town, he did not even show up for the first day he was scheduled to work! Very not like his responsible self. But he said the town was soooo boring he could not stand it, too lonely. hahaha! (no offence to Windsor, though this was in the late 60's). So he continued to apply to other places closer to the bigger cities. And finally ended up with another work visa in the place where he met my mom....

Do all you want to do now, ask all you want to know now, soak up every bit of everyone you hold dear, and as I said a few posts ago about my almond croissant, do not save the best for last, eat it now.

This article makes me more than sad..... somewhat even angry.....

I like squash...

I really really like squash.
Not the vegetable.

After the league games we tend to get together with the other team for drinks and snacks. Some of these ladies are pretty cool. So many different backgrounds and personalities, but we have this one thing in common.

The other night one of the retired ladies was talking about how she had a few car accidents of detached tractor trailers hitting her car! And also having an elevator cable snap while she was in it. Talk about bad luck! Injuries and huge setbacks.  Before the accidents she used to be stressed and caught up in the success of her career, having newly graduated and moving up in the ranks. She was so stressed and worried all the time. After the accidents she said she learned to calm down. And to be very appreciative of every moment she has. Also, she said after the accident she was afraid to drive again, she had her bf at the time and her family drive her to places she needed to go. One day they collectively bought her a gift. It was race car driving lessons!!
It was great to hear this story of a part of her life. Sometimes things that you wish never happened or huge obstacles or setbacks can turn out to be blessings in disguise. Life changes for the better.

Anyhow, back to squash. I really really like it. More so lately due to this welcoming and fun environment.