Gaslighting

This is a pretty new term for me but I think maybe I understand it this way:

When someone you care about a lot suggests or extrapolates something most hideous of you whether it be your character or something you deeply believe in, something you value and find most important to you - and thus calls you the opposite of what you value, whether it be you are ignorant or untrustworthy, and this upsets you. Then they turn around and say, well if you arent those or if you value those and know you are not the opposite then the suggestion shouldnt make you feel bad or upset about it..... why are you being so sensitive.... unless it is true....
That reverse way of hurting you or even the mere suggestion or mind manipulation - just to make a point or who knows, make you doubt yourself or even attempt to make you feel bad - is gaslighting.

I think lol.

My question is, if this person cares about you at all, why would they want you to feel that way in the first place. Why would they want to manipulate you that way.  It upsets you because of the very fact that it is an important value you hold dear to who you are.

I feel like people can go years ignoring little drops of hurt or disrespect and to simply think about why you like each other does not eliminate how the person is making you feel in the present, and you remember being left to feel that way. If it is not dealt with it adds up, to one day there is more of this awful feeling than the good stuff. Then they turn around and realize, they do not like this person in front of them at all.

I despise ignoring the elephant in the room. Its a time bomb waiting to happen. Or rather bigger and bigger bombs every time the elephant is ignored until its just one big ol'nuke bomb and everything, every soul, right down to the goodness in each is obliterated.