Why should you care about WE "charity" exploitation?

Because exploitation in any form, is a form of abuse.

So sickening. I pass by the properties owned by these brothers in Toronto. 

Its an argument of : The means to an end vs the end despite the means. 

 

So if I say I will be helping the poor and I step outside and find a homeless person I want to help, post their pic all over my social media and ask for donations, then raise hundreds of dollars but give the homeless person 10$ and pocket the rest so that I support my full income, is that being charitable or me exploiting others for my own gain?

People argue - oh you are just doing damage for political reasons to a charity that helps people and the people they help will suffer. Again, exploitation and wanting you to feel YOU are the guilty party blocking "good" from happening. 

Its sad so many donators were dupped and others refuse to accept they were and others, are afraid that they may have been involved in this, especially if they accepted large amounts of "thank you " presents from these guys. 

In the bigger picture - this happens all the time in every arena. 

A workplace asking their employees to "give up" some of their raise to increase the "raise" of their colleagues who have harder life experiences and are paid less then they are worth by the employer. As if to say its not the responsibility of the employer to pay them well but their colleagues and other employees. 

They like to think they are a modern Robbin Hood however, they take for themselves mostly. 

Yet no one is saying much, and anyone who is investigating them is deemed as the person who is uncharitable. 

Wow. 

I sometimes wish people would actually care about these things as they say they do. 

stress and kiddos

Very uncomfortable and stressful time right now. 

I just called my nephew though, to see how he is doing in UNI. 

Gah that helps. 

And also hung out w/ my bfs little one on the weekend. 

That helped a lot, it almost makes me cry just thinking about it.

Its amazing how you can just look at the innocence of that time in kids lives and know how much less stress there is with whats going on with them and almost see life in a glimps through their eyes. It takes you away from the nastiness and coldness of the stress one is experiencing at the moment. 

Ruin is a gift. I have to remember this. 

Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic. It's just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. - Liz Gilbert

A man called Ove.

Finally finished this book with my bf today. 

I couldn't read the last page. Was too vaklempt.

I am not much of a reader but I would reco this one.

Here's a quote I like from it :

"Loving someone is like moving into a house." Sonja used to say. "Art first you fall in loce with all the new things, amazed every morning that all this belongs to you, as if fearing that someone would suddenly come rushing in through the door to explain that a terrible mistake had been made, you weren't actually supposed to live in a wonderful place like this. Then over the years the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of all its perfection, but rather for all its imperfections. You get to know all the  nooks and crannies. How to avoid getting the key caught in the lock when its cold outside. Which of the floorboards flex slightly when one steps on them or exactly how to open the wardrobe doors without them creaking. These are the little Secrets that make it Your home. "

Been thinking of a couple things this weekend. 

One is "Do what brings you Joy" A friend reminded me of this - though it is said so often its like a cliche. But half the time we are on autopilot and we just do things because we are keeping up with living, surviving, or we don't stop to think to realize if something is bringing us joy, is neutral or does the opposite. Funny coincidence when the next day I saw this quote on Instagram "People who say 'go big or go home' seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, its literally my only goal".

The next is just a reminder, how do I want to be remembered when I am gone? What impact have I made on others? Who are the people I know who I admire so much that I am so very thankful they are in my life and that they bring Joy to my life even if its a minor way. How do they make me feel? What do they inspire in me because of their presence? (I really should not allow those that do the opposite, to occupy much space or importance in my life). 

Smiley emoticon callosity

It's been some kinda next level stress lately. 

Thankful for little graces. 

I had a nice laugh with a patient last week.

I normally don't go into details about my work. 

But she had a callus that looked like it had a happy face under it! I showed her and we had a big laugh about it. She gave me permission to post it. I did on our FB page and a colleague said it was time for vacation! Haha

Union Math

Update on Union Strikes:

If you are striking for a 1% or even 3 % raise, and you strike for a month - that is 1 month of lost income. 

Say, after the month you finally get this raise. 

That means you lost ~8% of income striking for a 1%-3% raise for lets say, the next 3 yrs. 

Conclusion: you at the most will really break even like you never had a raise to begin with or you come out with a loss. 

Ever question where that Loss goes to.....? Union and Employer. Who really benefits?

Ta-da. 

OH wait - if you are in a Union, you cannot ask for more than a 1% raise.

Love the skin you are in

Today I did a home visit appointment for a senior patient. 

I ended up meeting a PSW that was helping the same patient at the time that I arrived. We had a chance to small talk and help each other out (the patient was kind of grumpy about her situation and taking it out on us). The PSW lady asked if I was Filipino and I said I was. Herself, being Filipino, said "OH I didn't think you were Filipino, you don't look it. " I responded to her by saying that it was interesting because that is not the first time that a Filipino person told me this. A few moments later she said again "Oh so you are Filipino, you really do not look like it, you are pretty. You look Chinese " 

I really did not know how to take that. Did she mean that Filipinos are ugly in comparison to other Asians? She was basically insulting all Filipinos. Including herself. Did she mean that as a compliment? 

Not long after this same day, I saw this same PSW lady at the other home visit appointment residence I was at. 

By this time she was ending her shift and was talking to an elderly lady waiting outside and myself at the same time. She commented on how the elderly lady was enjoying the sunshine and the elderly lady said she was tanning. The elderly lady said she was "tanning her pale skin". The PSW said "oh your skin is so nice, the colour is nice, nicer than mine, which is darker and so not so nice." The elderly white lady did not agree and said that the PSW's skin is nice and tanned and admired her arm which was being shown to her in comparison. The Filipino PSW reiterated that the elderly lady's skin is nicer since it is whiter and she turned to look at me and said that my skin tone is nicer too because it is lighter than hers, and this is why she is now wearing a long sleeve sweater in the 26Celcius weather so she will not get darker. She said that her skin was ugly and she was too dark. I said something to the fact that her skin was not bad at all and that nothing is wrong with her skin. She went on about her day. 

I really did not know what to say. I felt I should have said more. 

This reminded me of a time last year where I read an Instagram post by a Filipino jewelry company who posted about how it is somehow ingrained in Filipino culture to think this way. I agree with that statement, I have heard it growing up, from distant friends of the family or relatives. I grew up thinking this way especially during highschool - the 90s which I think was the epitome of the pale-skin-red-lips-Brenda-Walsh days - something I would compare to the Twighlight vampire-like movies of not so long ago. The Filipino Jewelry company's post went on to say that this idea came from the Colonialism that the Philippines experienced for many years under the Spanish rule...... 

That's where I had to partly, yet strongly, disagree. 

Yes, Spain ruled over the Philippines for hundreds of years, and maybe this is where some of those ideas came from. But this same idea exists in other parts of Asia, who did not experience "Colonialism" - Japan, Korea, North Korea, Thailand...... yet these cultures also think that lighter is better! Just look at how pale the accepted look is now, look at all the Korean Beauty product line models. How many skin-lightening products are from Asia? So no, you cannot say the sole cause of this idea of "lighter being better" is from Colonialism. All this to say I am pretty tired of this latest trend to blame everything in life on Colonialism. In fact, one of the theories to why this idea has spread about was not colonialism but due to the the class systems. No matter what country you are from. In the class system, the workers were differentiated as being poorer and of lower class than the rich, who did not work in the fields and do hard labour. Obviously if you are working in the fields all day you would be more tanned than sitting comfortably at home being waited on. I feel that this makes more sense and can be applicable to any country, no matter what colour that race is. But unfortunately this way of thinking is not in line with the current narrative.  In fact, to bring it up can cause a shut down and tune out from some who want to force their own agendas, regardless of my own personal experiences. MY lived experience, which is trumped by the current narrative. 

Anyhow, going  back to this PSW. I felt sorry she was carrying around this self-hate, which was possibly put on herself from generations and generations of FILIPINO people. I should have told her that OUR skin is beautiful. The idea of blaming this idea on Colonialism today bothers me. Why? It's NOT coming from Colonialism, it is coming from those ignorant filipino aunties and uncles and distant  'friends of the family' who continue, to this day, spread this idea of self hate. Those Tsismis or Chismosa relatives and elder Filipinos that we all know of who have so much self-despise, all they can do is talk about everyone around them in a negative manner, to make themselves feel some sense of false superiority, to gain that attention they seek. Ask anyone who is Filipino if they know of someone in their culture who is like this. AAAAAAnd having friends who are Armenian, Sri-Lankan, Korean, Chinese, Indian, Italian......... its basically in Every. Single. culture out there. 

And why does blaming this idea on Colonialism today bother me? Because it takes the responsibility off of those that are spreading these ideas now, today... all the people we know within each culture that continue this self-hate idea, the aunties, the uncles, the old "family friends", the Chismosas, the negative Nancys, the gossipers....Instead of them just realizing "hey, I'm an asshole", they blame their actions on something else, someone else. These days it's acceptable to hate all White people, especially if you are a man. So how do they look to solve this self-hate? Hate others - does not make any sense. They are the ones responsible for this today, not "Colonialism". 

So please, before you speak of Colonialism in 2021, look deep into yourself first. Be responsible for you. Love the skin you are in so you can spread this feeling to others. Stop spreading hate.

I was booking a patient's appointment for tomorrow, but needed more info on an upcoming meeting first. 

I told him that I will give him a call today as soon as I know about my meeting....

He said:

 "No problem, just leave a message on my machine, I'm very good at taking directions... I'm married you know. " 

ha