It's been some kinda next level stress lately.
Thankful for little graces.
I had a nice laugh with a patient last week.
I normally don't go into details about my work.
But she had a callus that looked like it had a happy face under it! I showed her and we had a big laugh about it. She gave me permission to post it. I did on our FB page and a colleague said it was time for vacation! Haha
Update on Union Strikes:
If you are striking for a 1% or even 3 % raise, and you strike for a month - that is 1 month of lost income.
Say, after the month you finally get this raise.
That means you lost ~8% of income striking for a 1%-3% raise for lets say, the next 3 yrs.
Conclusion: you at the most will really break even like you never had a raise to begin with or you come out with a loss.
Ever question where that Loss goes to.....? Union and Employer. Who really benefits?
Ta-da.
OH wait - if you are in a Union, you cannot ask for more than a 1% raise.
Today I did a home visit appointment for a senior patient.
I ended up meeting a PSW that was helping the same patient at the time that I arrived. We had a chance to small talk and help each other out (the patient was kind of grumpy about her situation and taking it out on us). The PSW lady asked if I was Filipino and I said I was. Herself, being Filipino, said "OH I didn't think you were Filipino, you don't look it. " I responded to her by saying that it was interesting because that is not the first time that a Filipino person told me this. A few moments later she said again "Oh so you are Filipino, you really do not look like it, you are pretty. You look Chinese "
I really did not know how to take that. Did she mean that Filipinos are ugly in comparison to other Asians? She was basically insulting all Filipinos. Including herself. Did she mean that as a compliment?
Not long after this same day, I saw this same PSW lady at the other home visit appointment residence I was at.
By this time she was ending her shift and was talking to an elderly lady waiting outside and myself at the same time. She commented on how the elderly lady was enjoying the sunshine and the elderly lady said she was tanning. The elderly lady said she was "tanning her pale skin". The PSW said "oh your skin is so nice, the colour is nice, nicer than mine, which is darker and so not so nice." The elderly white lady did not agree and said that the PSW's skin is nice and tanned and admired her arm which was being shown to her in comparison. The Filipino PSW reiterated that the elderly lady's skin is nicer since it is whiter and she turned to look at me and said that my skin tone is nicer too because it is lighter than hers, and this is why she is now wearing a long sleeve sweater in the 26Celcius weather so she will not get darker. She said that her skin was ugly and she was too dark. I said something to the fact that her skin was not bad at all and that nothing is wrong with her skin. She went on about her day.
I really did not know what to say. I felt I should have said more.
This reminded me of a time last year where I read an Instagram post by a Filipino jewelry company who posted about how it is somehow ingrained in Filipino culture to think this way. I agree with that statement, I have heard it growing up, from distant friends of the family or relatives. I grew up thinking this way especially during highschool - the 90s which I think was the epitome of the pale-skin-red-lips-Brenda-Walsh days - something I would compare to the Twighlight vampire-like movies of not so long ago. The Filipino Jewelry company's post went on to say that this idea came from the Colonialism that the Philippines experienced for many years under the Spanish rule......
That's where I had to partly, yet strongly, disagree.
Yes, Spain ruled over the Philippines for hundreds of years, and maybe this is where some of those ideas came from. But this same idea exists in other parts of Asia, who did not experience "Colonialism" - Japan, Korea, North Korea, Thailand...... yet these cultures also think that lighter is better! Just look at how pale the accepted look is now, look at all the Korean Beauty product line models. How many skin-lightening products are from Asia? So no, you cannot say the sole cause of this idea of "lighter being better" is from Colonialism. All this to say I am pretty tired of this latest trend to blame everything in life on Colonialism. In fact, one of the theories to why this idea has spread about was not colonialism but due to the the class systems. No matter what country you are from. In the class system, the workers were differentiated as being poorer and of lower class than the rich, who did not work in the fields and do hard labour. Obviously if you are working in the fields all day you would be more tanned than sitting comfortably at home being waited on. I feel that this makes more sense and can be applicable to any country, no matter what colour that race is. But unfortunately this way of thinking is not in line with the current narrative. In fact, to bring it up can cause a shut down and tune out from some who want to force their own agendas, regardless of my own personal experiences. MY lived experience, which is trumped by the current narrative.
Anyhow, going back to this PSW. I felt sorry she was carrying around this self-hate, which was possibly put on herself from generations and generations of FILIPINO people. I should have told her that OUR skin is beautiful. The idea of blaming this idea on Colonialism today bothers me. Why? It's NOT coming from Colonialism, it is coming from those ignorant filipino aunties and uncles and distant 'friends of the family' who continue, to this day, spread this idea of self hate. Those Tsismis or Chismosa relatives and elder Filipinos that we all know of who have so much self-despise, all they can do is talk about everyone around them in a negative manner, to make themselves feel some sense of false superiority, to gain that attention they seek. Ask anyone who is Filipino if they know of someone in their culture who is like this. AAAAAAnd having friends who are Armenian, Sri-Lankan, Korean, Chinese, Indian, Italian......... its basically in Every. Single. culture out there.
And why does blaming this idea on Colonialism today bother me? Because it takes the responsibility off of those that are spreading these ideas now, today... all the people we know within each culture that continue this self-hate idea, the aunties, the uncles, the old "family friends", the Chismosas, the negative Nancys, the gossipers....Instead of them just realizing "hey, I'm an asshole", they blame their actions on something else, someone else. These days it's acceptable to hate all White people, especially if you are a man. So how do they look to solve this self-hate? Hate others - does not make any sense. They are the ones responsible for this today, not "Colonialism".
So please, before you speak of Colonialism in 2021, look deep into yourself first. Be responsible for you. Love the skin you are in so you can spread this feeling to others. Stop spreading hate.
I was booking a patient's appointment for tomorrow, but needed more info on an upcoming meeting first.
I told him that I will give him a call today as soon as I know about my meeting....
He said:
"No problem, just leave a message on my machine, I'm very good at taking directions... I'm married you know. "
ha
Here is how I see Unions work.
They collude with Management to both benefit and play this game with the employees, sort of like a vanishing cat and mouse game.
Apparently according to Bill-127, this restricts any compensation increase to only 1% per year (per year I think).
So say if you are public funded and the provincial government gives you enough compensation funding to amount to OVER this 1% ... then you aren't allowed that. They could not even answer my question as to what happens with the rest. They measly said "oh we give it back" - What. What world are they living where you volunteer to give back government funds that you were alotted?
So Unions are known best for what? ... STRIKING.
When they make you strike, you do not get paid. So say if you strike long enough to lose 1% or more of your salary.... they end up coming to an agreement (that they pre- calculated with management I am assuming) and in the end after the strike ..... management ends up giving you your 1%. And if you are lucky you break even.
Who wins in the end? = Union , Management
Who loses = the employee and whom ever they are responsible for because they will not get treated- when you are in health care.
The only thing is..... This is not the education system (where unions are known to strike a lot). where no one dies, no one loses a limb, no one overdoses if they don't go to school.
These Unions and possibly management who are not in the front lines - care more about the $ than they do about patients, because they are NOT healthcare providers. So people will overdose, people will commit suicide, people will get an amputation, get a heart attack, have a fatal asthma attack - whatever is the case.
There is my summary of UNIONS. Pass it on if you know anyone contemplating joining one.
.... The Art of Powerful Conversation.
This is the title of a book that a local... I don't know how to describe him..... coach? motivator? networker?
... a local guy called Stuart Knight wrote.
I really do not know much about him.
I think some companies hire him to motivate them to do stuff, I think.
Anyways about 6 years ago or more I volunteered to help out with Future Possibilities for Kids. Or FPK for short. I believe this program started in the USA in NY for inner city kids, it's goal was to motivate them to be socially aware and active in their community. Open their eyes to volunteering and helping others.
But from this FPK program, they invited all the volunteers to a talk by Stuart Knight. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, then I thought what kinda kool aid was he drinking.... but then slowly I thought the concept he was presenting was interesting.
His idea of networking came from the thought that the art of meaningful conversation was disappearing.
In networking or in social settings or work settings or even in some family settings, people tend to just talk for the sake of small talk, to be polite, to gently get to know people but not really know people. But what if we were to just dive right in and dig deeper? He did this, in his networking events in a setting where that was expected. No one judged you for those deep conversations or the uncomfortable questions... because that was the intro to this setting. At first it seemed weird and fake and awkward. But after a while it seemed very interesting, I got to know others, learned to tolerate other opinions if I did not agree, found support from those with similar mind sets, learned people's many personalities, learned a bit about their values, learned about myself, learned to listen, learned to converse a bit better, I learned who I liked more than others and who I would rather not talk too long to, found deeper conversations with some, I learned to notice who was listening to what I said vs. who was focused more on what they wanted to say. I learned that interesting questions kept people engaged, than the usual conversation starters. And even one question could lead the whole conversation into a totally different tangent. Even if some conversations were duds the evening would always be fun if not interesting. I would always have more to talk about with my girlfriend who joined me in this.
Anyhow, I believe this networking group fizzled out after he had a kid. No more events were planned and I think he has taken a different route but same concept.
I was thinking about this book and network group the other day. Especially in a time like now where conversations are censored. Or even self censored because the environment has become very divisive and polarized and especially during the pandemic, a lot of people are on edge. I also feel .... looking back at one of my other posts about the attempted cancellation of Meghan Murphy in Toronto.... that this has been brewing for a long time at least a good 6 yrs. Where the terms totalitarianism, fascism and marxism have somehow resurfaced and have become something tangible and somewhat acceptable rather than just a term to describe something that happened a long time ago or in other distant parts of the world in non democratic countries.
Open conversations have become too painful somehow. Only a certain kind of conversation is accepted. And often times heads nod, not because of a full understanding and critical thought behind it, but because its is a nod that yes that is the proper accepted idea at the moment, don't question it. A simple act of asking a question verbally has become a physical attack of the essence of a person, even if it is to clarify or to request explanation or to fact check. The mere suggestion that there may be another way of looking at something or approaching a situation - immediately brands the person as antagonistic, the polar opposite of the idea at hand and vilifies them into a potential murderer or simply just evil itself. Do not question but become submissive in action and thought is what is being forced upon us. Social media is a beast in itself. People used to talk about cyber bullying. Jane bullied Cindy in a chat room or on Facebook but no one is talking about how Media bullying has become the norm. A question I had about vaccine roll out safety suddenly had Facebook label me as fake news and an antivaxxer - meanwhile, I already had my first vaccine shot at the time and I work in healthcare.
You have white people telling immigrants and minorities what their experiences are and should be and telling minorities that they all must fall into the forever repressed category. Negating any successes and achievements they have made, but not just looking back at the past to learn, but instead to dwell and accuse and remain there at the same time erase it? You have non immigrants telling people who are in fact immigrants themselves that they are racist. You have people that are non white vilifying and treating others that are white differently solely because of the colour of their skin and justifying it by saying well this happened to me or others like me in the past so its ok for me to treat you this way too, because of the colour of your skin. You have groups of people saying you must not treat us differently but then expect to be treated differently favorably only. You have Transgendered people being ostracized and accused of being Transphobic if they do not agree that transgendered people who identify as women should not be allowed to compete against other women in the Olympics due to their born male genetics. You have irradiation of words and of history rather than people learning from it, and yet we do not learn from it and then they are shocked as to why the behavior still exists, this is why they keep talking about how the English language changes and "evolves" all the time yet it seems, attitudes have not. It is sad how real issues of the world have become so politicized that the person themselves is forgotten. The individual person and their true life experience.
When BLM movement exploded last year after the tragedy of how George Forman passed, I walked through a sitting protest stopping traffic at College and Bay one afternoon and noticed the crowds were somewhat multicultural but predominantly white and asian and maybe only about 10% were black. As I crossed the street I was walking the same direction as two black men and a black lady passed us and said to them "oh now they care" with a chuckle and eye roll. Interesting when the group you say you are supporting were not even told of this protest/ event. Its like having a party for someone but they are the only ones you did not invite? This is why I choose to ask those who I know who are a part of any group at hand what their personal experience is. What their view is? How do they feel about what is happening? What do they agree with, disagree with? Because that is the only way to the truth, no assumption, no putting words into someones mouth, no groupings, no political agenda, no different or general take on history, only their truth. Tell me your story, instead of the story media and political groups paint for us. There are no underlying motives in an individual's personal truth.
I miss those open conversation network nights by Stuart Knight, I wonder how they would play out today.....
Anyhow, I will leave a couple videos here and here albeit, they are political.
