Which made me wonder ...
When did texting first start ? (1992)
When did FB start? (2004)
When did Myspace (for those who remember this) start? (2003)
When was the first computer invented? (1943)
When did Apple begin? (1976)
Microsoft? (1975)
Google? (1998)
Twitter? (2006)
When did people start trolling ? (1980s haha .....that came from this article)
I'm not on Twitter. Thank goodness. But, I do find it interesting to look up accounts just to see the "Tweet & Replies" section. I wonder if this says a lot about someone? Some people are really angry! I wonder how it would look like if someone were to just filter out my social media comments to things... Hopefully I am not that angry as well. I looked up an account recently and it was simply "you're an idiot" "get lost" "you're stupid" "You're a son of a Bitch". "grow the fuck up" "you're a piece of shit". Wow. How easily detached we can be when we anonymously hide behind a neutral account.
I will admit I get "triggered" by some of the nonsense I see on social media. I often write my response then delete it. I should not be surprised by how polarized our society is right now. It is easy to say we are strong enough to be immune to it, but what we really are saying is that I can't deal with stupid people. Which is interesting to think that those that we may think are simply stupid, actually feel the same about us as well.
I spent way too long talking with a patient last Friday about this. She is a lady in her 80s who is left wondering why on earth a friend of hers who she has known for years, who she thought was a good friend and someone close to her, who had the same values as her, a friend she holds dear, how can this friend support something soooooo opposite from her. She believed her friend to be kind and thoughtful but she was struggling what this opposite view point meant. Can she really BE that evil? It's like she doesn't know her anymore. She was contemplating stopping this friendship. Which made her very sad. She also did not want to hear the WHY? Why her friend felt she needed to support this opposite view.
I asked why she did not want to hear the WHY? She said she was afraid. Afraid of hearing more evil things or more afraid that her friend may convince her to change her mind and she would become evil as well. I think she meant to say she was afraid that hearing the why of the opposite view would shake her very belief in her own values and what she feels is true.
I am realizing lately that this fear of going deeper and asking the why of the opposite view - the fear that we will also fall into the abyss of being lost, this fear of the opposite position - is what is keeping and growing this polarization. Maybe I am being overly dramatic but I agree with the idea that this can lead to an all out civil war, and chaos. Its not easy to hear out the other side. Its not easy to not get emotional (especially me haha). And I agree, its just easier to press MUTE on their Instagram or FB or BLOCK.
Ideally speaking though....
I tried to tell my patient that there is a reason her friend is her close friend for many years. There is a connection. And if she is strong in her belief yet she loves her friend, she can maybe dare to listen to her friend's Why. This will not change her views that she holds, but it will bring her closer to understanding her friend, instead of writing her off as an evil anomaly, and it could possibly make her friend more open to hearing her Why as well. I feel like usually people want the same things in the end. A greater good. That people need to meet people in the middle. Have that communication, break down the misunderstandings, dive into the hurts and the fears. Only then this divide will become narrower. I mean, whats the worst that can happen if you truely try to understand the other person? I guess it would be to find out that they are actually the evil devil we already believe them to be and have this be confirmed - so since we are already there, assuming the opposite is simply evil, we shouldnt fear that conclusion anyways. But think about what can be gained by understanding the other's whys?
I said this to her because I see it around me. Lets just forget about society and strangers on the internet. But look at families, and close friends (like my patient has), so much divide is already happening among people who do love each other. And there is not only two extreme sides like social media and politics like to paint it out to be. United we stand, divided .... we fall.
No comments:
Post a Comment