bestie parents?

Growing up I had an aunt that I hung out with a lot.
She was so giving and generous.
She was much younger than my mom of course so that equals more cooler in my little mind.
I also thought she was so pretty!
She used to babysit my older bro and I and often took us to the CNE after school.
When she lived downtown we would have a few sleep over nights with her as well.
Looking back I cannot believe my little self at grade 6-7? took the subway and buses all the way downtown to stay with her.

Then I would come home and my mom would be my mom. You know, the strict one. The one who would nag me to clean up my room, clean up after myself, to wash the dishes or to do the chores I had to do.
Then of course this would lead to fights - you know, me not listening or doing things wrong or whatever the case (gez, I'm so old I don't even remember what the menial fights we had were all about, even though at the time, they felt like big fights).

I remember saying "I wish I lived with Auntie! I wish she was my mom!"

And my mother answering "Oh you do? Then go ahead, do it, you think she is better for whatever reason, go do it then!"

Of course I never did live with her. Just retreated back to my room all pissed off and hating on her.

I remember during these fights I would often hear "We do this because we love you".
Whether it be asking us to do chores or expecting more from us or correcting us or being strict and not allowing us to do certain things or buy certain things or have things we wanted.
"We do this because we love you."

To which I always thought "If you love me then you won't be getting mad at me, or won't be asking me to do things like chores, or you will allow me to do things that I think are fun, or allow me to have things that I want. That will show me you love me, obviously."

It all never really made any sense.

-----

Skip to now or at least in my 30s. When I realized, I am thankful that I was given the mom I was given and would not have it any other way.
I started to see then that because they were the way they were with me, it helped shape me into who I am today. And I was soooo appreciative. A lot of the "bad" stuff I felt I could see was for the good and some of the bad stuff I felt was also still, something that helped shape me.

Unfortunately now I can see the results of many whose parents wanted to be best friends with their kids or showered their kids with everything they wanted because they didn't want their kids to ever feel "bad" or disciplined. It certainly does not set them up for real life experiences or even self resiliency or even how to deal with responsibility or even knowing how to be compassionate to another or thoughtful or empathetic - because the focus was always their comfort. I was taught that being cool was nothing to aspire toward (hello, so not cool here, yet I'm ok with it), not the main goal in life. Looking more outwardly instead of egocentrically only. And to learn to depend on myself than to expect things from others.

There is so much more I can say about that. But just to end off by saying I'm thankful for my mom, and the fact she just showed she didn't give a crap about who I liked better at that time, who I thought was more fun or nicer, she didn't care about who was "cooler" - because all she cared about was that  her job was to be my mom and make me the person I am today.