Law of Effect

I stumbled upon this term today in some random article in Psychology today.
Are you teaching people to treat you badly?

I find it interesting because I have always heard the "Turn the other cheek" kinda story or the Bible's "give them the other cheek" or the idea that "kindness will overcome unkindness".

Which can really mix people up.
And it can perpetuate a shitty relationship that can in turn eat away at a person's self worth and confidence.

On the other hand, retaliating back against bad behavior can also escalate the bad behavior as well or it can stop it.

This goes along with the discussion my gfs  and I had this weekend about meditation and yoga and being detached from the world to find what god means (a common theme in many religions).
One of my gfs refuted an idea that was presented in saying "well then if you let it go or forgive, you end up being just a doormat, how do you stop those people from treating you badly?"

And to mix more ideas into this theme, there is the idea of forgiveness.
Sometimes it is hard to forgive because one feels that to forgive is to excuse the bad behavior or to accept it as ok. Which I learned is apparently the wrong idea about forgiveness.
I have heard that Forgiveness of another person or situation is not for the other person who made the offense, it is something you do for yourself.

All very deep things to think about and all somehow related to each other.

The Law Effect states that Behavior varies as a function of it's consequences.

So if we apply the above strategies of turning the other cheek - if a person can act unkind to another and not be reprimanded and maybe even be treated more kind - they may not change at all and continue to think how they treat someone is ok.

If you look at it that way you can say "oh of course! who would be nicer to someone after they were treated meanly by that person, that is just silly"

BUT it happens.
A person acts up or snaps at another, the other person makes some reason in their head like - oh they must have had a bad day and then they treat them more sweeter to ease them from this bad day.
Or a kid throws a tantrum because they do not get what they want so the parent feels bad the kid is crying and upset so they hug them and console them after.



Anyways, it is interesting to try to decipher when a situation would be good for "turning the other cheek" or actually asserting against the bad behavior/unkindness.