Complacent

(The Free dictionary)
com·pla·cent (km-plsnt)

adj.

1. Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned: He had become complacent after years of success.

2. Eager to please; complaisant.

Not sure if I am using the right word... I feel like there is another one to describe it.....

So not to be all Buddha and all-knowing and crap... cause I am full aware of how much I have yet to learn....

But today, I was just thinking how easy it is to become pretty complacent with my life.

I mean, Im so thankful for what I have today.

But, when it comes to other things that havent happened, I start to think... meh... I can do without this or that. And things that I would have felt that I'm NOT ok with, become blurred as I second guess myself and think that maybe Im just nit-picking, impatient or just plainly on a simple ghost hunt. So I convince myself that I AM ok with it.

Heres the thing....when I do this often enough.... somehow something ends up happening that kicks me in the pants... a wake up call - hopefully not something tragic or devestating.... but enough to make me wake up and realize.... DUDE, just accept it, you are NOT ok with it, now get back on track!

Also, I guess everything in life is in constant motion or changing (hopefully improving) and I guess complacency can be looked at also as something more stagnant. And usually things that are stagnant are dead/ lifeless.
Hummmm?
Head hurts.
I think I will put on a dress, go out into the sun and look at the blue sky now....ahhhhh

Anyways, yada yada yada. Complacency. Not a good thing.