Happy New Year

 At noon today I get a text from my bf

"hey how's the day going?"

"It must be difficult working with some people, but you seem to do a great job." 

"too bad your boss doesn't appreciate you" 

Woah. 

To some it may not seem like he said much, but considering the difficult time my present boss has given me in ALL of the 15 years working at this place, especially when we are dealing with this pandemic and basically onsite seeing patients all day while they sit comfy in their offices or at home or at their cottage, I did not realize how these simple words would feel. Acknowledgment and understanding without saying "you know" what I must be going through. 

I usually just brush off Thank-yous from patients, because this is what we do every day and the empty thank yous from certain staff who emptily say "they know" what you are going through or the anxiety this new virulent strain is causing - because they do not know, how can you when you are at home while I am seeing patients face to face? They like to say they know but they do not actually know - which makes it even more insincere because it is obvious THEY do not really know. 

So hearing this acknowledgement and understanding is like a warm hug I did not realize I needed and has also made me realize what is lacking at work from the main people that are there to support staff. 

 This is a great article by the National Post. 

Its a shame that only some are willing to read this. 

Why should you care about WE "charity" exploitation?

Because exploitation in any form, is a form of abuse.

So sickening. I pass by the properties owned by these brothers in Toronto. 

Its an argument of : The means to an end vs the end despite the means. 

 

So if I say I will be helping the poor and I step outside and find a homeless person I want to help, post their pic all over my social media and ask for donations, then raise hundreds of dollars but give the homeless person 10$ and pocket the rest so that I support my full income, is that being charitable or me exploiting others for my own gain?

People argue - oh you are just doing damage for political reasons to a charity that helps people and the people they help will suffer. Again, exploitation and wanting you to feel YOU are the guilty party blocking "good" from happening. 

Its sad so many donators were dupped and others refuse to accept they were and others, are afraid that they may have been involved in this, especially if they accepted large amounts of "thank you " presents from these guys. 

In the bigger picture - this happens all the time in every arena. 

A workplace asking their employees to "give up" some of their raise to increase the "raise" of their colleagues who have harder life experiences and are paid less then they are worth by the employer. As if to say its not the responsibility of the employer to pay them well but their colleagues and other employees. 

They like to think they are a modern Robbin Hood however, they take for themselves mostly. 

Yet no one is saying much, and anyone who is investigating them is deemed as the person who is uncharitable. 

Wow. 

I sometimes wish people would actually care about these things as they say they do. 

stress and kiddos

Very uncomfortable and stressful time right now. 

I just called my nephew though, to see how he is doing in UNI. 

Gah that helps. 

And also hung out w/ my bfs little one on the weekend. 

That helped a lot, it almost makes me cry just thinking about it.

Its amazing how you can just look at the innocence of that time in kids lives and know how much less stress there is with whats going on with them and almost see life in a glimps through their eyes. It takes you away from the nastiness and coldness of the stress one is experiencing at the moment. 

Ruin is a gift. I have to remember this. 

Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic. It's just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. - Liz Gilbert

A man called Ove.

Finally finished this book with my bf today. 

I couldn't read the last page. Was too vaklempt.

I am not much of a reader but I would reco this one.

Here's a quote I like from it :

"Loving someone is like moving into a house." Sonja used to say. "Art first you fall in loce with all the new things, amazed every morning that all this belongs to you, as if fearing that someone would suddenly come rushing in through the door to explain that a terrible mistake had been made, you weren't actually supposed to live in a wonderful place like this. Then over the years the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of all its perfection, but rather for all its imperfections. You get to know all the  nooks and crannies. How to avoid getting the key caught in the lock when its cold outside. Which of the floorboards flex slightly when one steps on them or exactly how to open the wardrobe doors without them creaking. These are the little Secrets that make it Your home. "

Been thinking of a couple things this weekend. 

One is "Do what brings you Joy" A friend reminded me of this - though it is said so often its like a cliche. But half the time we are on autopilot and we just do things because we are keeping up with living, surviving, or we don't stop to think to realize if something is bringing us joy, is neutral or does the opposite. Funny coincidence when the next day I saw this quote on Instagram "People who say 'go big or go home' seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, its literally my only goal".

The next is just a reminder, how do I want to be remembered when I am gone? What impact have I made on others? Who are the people I know who I admire so much that I am so very thankful they are in my life and that they bring Joy to my life even if its a minor way. How do they make me feel? What do they inspire in me because of their presence? (I really should not allow those that do the opposite, to occupy much space or importance in my life). 

Smiley emoticon callosity

It's been some kinda next level stress lately. 

Thankful for little graces. 

I had a nice laugh with a patient last week.

I normally don't go into details about my work. 

But she had a callus that looked like it had a happy face under it! I showed her and we had a big laugh about it. She gave me permission to post it. I did on our FB page and a colleague said it was time for vacation! Haha

Union Math

Update on Union Strikes:

If you are striking for a 1% or even 3 % raise, and you strike for a month - that is 1 month of lost income. 

Say, after the month you finally get this raise. 

That means you lost ~8% of income striking for a 1%-3% raise for lets say, the next 3 yrs. 

Conclusion: you at the most will really break even like you never had a raise to begin with or you come out with a loss. 

Ever question where that Loss goes to.....? Union and Employer. Who really benefits?

Ta-da. 

OH wait - if you are in a Union, you cannot ask for more than a 1% raise.