.... The Art of Powerful Conversation.
This is the title of a book that a local... I don't know how to describe him..... coach? motivator? networker?
... a local guy called Stuart Knight wrote.
I really do not know much about him.
I think some companies hire him to motivate them to do stuff, I think.
Anyways about 6 years ago or more I volunteered to help out with Future Possibilities for Kids. Or FPK for short. I believe this program started in the USA in NY for inner city kids, it's goal was to motivate them to be socially aware and active in their community. Open their eyes to volunteering and helping others.
But from this FPK program, they invited all the volunteers to a talk by Stuart Knight. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, then I thought what kinda kool aid was he drinking.... but then slowly I thought the concept he was presenting was interesting.
His idea of networking came from the thought that the art of meaningful conversation was disappearing.
In networking or in social settings or work settings or even in some family settings, people tend to just talk for the sake of small talk, to be polite, to gently get to know people but not really know people. But what if we were to just dive right in and dig deeper? He did this, in his networking events in a setting where that was expected. No one judged you for those deep conversations or the uncomfortable questions... because that was the intro to this setting. At first it seemed weird and fake and awkward. But after a while it seemed very interesting, I got to know others, learned to tolerate other opinions if I did not agree, found support from those with similar mind sets, learned people's many personalities, learned a bit about their values, learned about myself, learned to listen, learned to converse a bit better, I learned who I liked more than others and who I would rather not talk too long to, found deeper conversations with some, I learned to notice who was listening to what I said vs. who was focused more on what they wanted to say. I learned that interesting questions kept people engaged, than the usual conversation starters. And even one question could lead the whole conversation into a totally different tangent. Even if some conversations were duds the evening would always be fun if not interesting. I would always have more to talk about with my girlfriend who joined me in this.
Anyhow, I believe this networking group fizzled out after he had a kid. No more events were planned and I think he has taken a different route but same concept.
I was thinking about this book and network group the other day. Especially in a time like now where conversations are censored. Or even self censored because the environment has become very divisive and polarized and especially during the pandemic, a lot of people are on edge. I also feel .... looking back at one of my other posts about the attempted cancellation of Meghan Murphy in Toronto.... that this has been brewing for a long time at least a good 6 yrs. Where the terms totalitarianism, fascism and marxism have somehow resurfaced and have become something tangible and somewhat acceptable rather than just a term to describe something that happened a long time ago or in other distant parts of the world in non democratic countries.
Open conversations have become too painful somehow. Only a certain kind of conversation is accepted. And often times heads nod, not because of a full understanding and critical thought behind it, but because its is a nod that yes that is the proper accepted idea at the moment, don't question it. A simple act of asking a question verbally has become a physical attack of the essence of a person, even if it is to clarify or to request explanation or to fact check. The mere suggestion that there may be another way of looking at something or approaching a situation - immediately brands the person as antagonistic, the polar opposite of the idea at hand and vilifies them into a potential murderer or simply just evil itself. Do not question but become submissive in action and thought is what is being forced upon us. Social media is a beast in itself. People used to talk about cyber bullying. Jane bullied Cindy in a chat room or on Facebook but no one is talking about how Media bullying has become the norm. A question I had about vaccine roll out safety suddenly had Facebook label me as fake news and an antivaxxer - meanwhile, I already had my first vaccine shot at the time and I work in healthcare.
You have white people telling immigrants and minorities what their experiences are and should be and telling minorities that they all must fall into the forever repressed category. Negating any successes and achievements they have made, but not just looking back at the past to learn, but instead to dwell and accuse and remain there at the same time erase it? You have non immigrants telling people who are in fact immigrants themselves that they are racist. You have people that are non white vilifying and treating others that are white differently solely because of the colour of their skin and justifying it by saying well this happened to me or others like me in the past so its ok for me to treat you this way too, because of the colour of your skin. You have groups of people saying you must not treat us differently but then expect to be treated differently favorably only. You have Transgendered people being ostracized and accused of being Transphobic if they do not agree that transgendered people who identify as women should not be allowed to compete against other women in the Olympics due to their born male genetics. You have irradiation of words and of history rather than people learning from it, and yet we do not learn from it and then they are shocked as to why the behavior still exists, this is why they keep talking about how the English language changes and "evolves" all the time yet it seems, attitudes have not. It is sad how real issues of the world have become so politicized that the person themselves is forgotten. The individual person and their true life experience.
When BLM movement exploded last year after the tragedy of how George Forman passed, I walked through a sitting protest stopping traffic at College and Bay one afternoon and noticed the crowds were somewhat multicultural but predominantly white and asian and maybe only about 10% were black. As I crossed the street I was walking the same direction as two black men and a black lady passed us and said to them "oh now they care" with a chuckle and eye roll. Interesting when the group you say you are supporting were not even told of this protest/ event. Its like having a party for someone but they are the only ones you did not invite? This is why I choose to ask those who I know who are a part of any group at hand what their personal experience is. What their view is? How do they feel about what is happening? What do they agree with, disagree with? Because that is the only way to the truth, no assumption, no putting words into someones mouth, no groupings, no political agenda, no different or general take on history, only their truth. Tell me your story, instead of the story media and political groups paint for us. There are no underlying motives in an individual's personal truth.
I miss those open conversation network nights by Stuart Knight, I wonder how they would play out today.....
Anyhow, I will leave a couple videos here and here albeit, they are political.
